I had this dream last night, one that I have had many times before, but never to completion. In the previous dreams I would be travelling somewhere in the mountains or hills, where I would come very close to the edge of the path or road, but never go over. Last night I went over. And I survived. Not only was I uninjured, but I got to my destination a lot faster than if I had played it safe and stayed on the path. So, this is my interpretation. I may be falling all over the place without a clue as to what I am actually doing. I may have terrific days where I am out and about, taking pictures and experiencing the culture, people and landscape of where I am. And, I may have some days where I can’t get out of bed. It’s all good. If I try to keep on the path and chide myself for falling off I am hindering my journey, and my healing. For those of you new to my blog, my husband ended his life in 2013 and I spent the following four years trying to be strong for my children. It has only been in the last year that I have turned my sights inward and it has been debilitating at times. I keep pressing on, to where I don’t know, but I believe God (or whatever your name is for that greater being) is holding me close. That’s all I have.
My son, Matthew, stayed with me here, in Ensenada, for two weeks. It was wonderful to have someone to converse with. My Spanish is still comprised of words instead of sentences. And the people speak way too fast for me to understand. I do pick up on the gist of the conversation, but I really need to practice.
It amused me to see how the tables have turned. Matthew, when he lived at home, rarely made it anywhere on time because I could never get him out of bed. And he was pretty messy. Now, however, Matthew was up at the crack of dawn, while I dragged myself out of bed around 9.00 am or even 10.00 am. And it was me who left things lying around, while Matthew kept things organised. (You should see his condo, he even has the carving knives organised in the drawer!) Just so long as I don’t regress much more than this, I’m okay with it.
Matthew celebrated his thirtieth birthday while he was here, and decided the best gift would be to help the child street vendors. Some of them are as young as four. It is really heartbreaking. So, with the help of a tour operator, he was able to contact someone who could supply the food. The little children came with their families to eat hot dogs and tacos. No judgement here, please, most of the Mexican people aren’t vegan. One thing at a time. These people are barely surviving, so it was wonderful to see the happy faces of the children. One little fella stood out because he ran around, played football and ate, all without letting go of his wares. What a little sweetheart.
I went to the bank yesterday to withdraw money to pay for my stay in San Felipe this week. I have to pay in U.S. dollars and some banks give the option of US dollars or pesos. The one I went to didn’t, so I walked to another one. Once I got there I couldn’t find my bank card. I sat down on the curb and searched every compartment of my tiny purse, twice. I then backtracked to the first bank. Nada. Back to the second bank, another check through my purse, still nothing. So I figured I should probably get back to the apartment and call my bank in Canada to cancel my card. Once in the apartment, I searched one last time, just in case and voilà, there it was, sandwiched between two bank notes. I swear I checked them. How does that happen? It isn’t the first time!
The remainder of this week will be getting organized for my stay in San Felipe. I am looking at a few properties while I am there. I’m also hoping to meet some expats in the community. I have seen a few places I am interested in. The one I really would like is close to the beach, has two bedrooms (one for company) and…….. a bathtub!! That is a rarity in homes south of the U.S. border. Of course, it is out of my price range, but maybe when I sell my RV I will be able to afford it. Oh, did I tell you I’m selling Arvey? She costs too much to drive, so once I am back in Canada, at the end of April, I plan on selling her and finding something a bit more practical.
Oh, and in case you are wondering, that won’t be the end of my travels. I will be returning to Mexico and hopefully beyond.